Since my daughter was born, I've been on a, somewhat obssessive, mission to make certain her childhood was normal or not obviously different. Read: just like mine.
I want her to to live in a nice neighborhood, have a nice room, good toys, nice clothes...
I want her to participate in programs that her friends participate in.
I want her to go to the Aquarium and Science World and bear popular gifts at birthday parties.
I don't want her house to look different than her friend's houses.
( When I was growing up, I had two friends whose homes I was afaid of. They were single parent homes )
I don't want her to feel that she lacks anything.
However this mission may be driving me into a deep hole of debt.
I'm coming to the realization that perhaps I've been denying the reality of my situation.
The reality being, I don't have the income to support her the way two incomes can.
Am I the only one trying to protect her from being different with debt.?
There are a few older posts of mine that seem to get a lot hits on a daily
basis. I am going to re-run one or a two a week...
15 hours ago
4 comments:
Oh girl, I feel ya on this one. I just bought my 12 year old a damn laptop just because it's what he REALLY wanted and I always make sure my kids have all they want and need. Mostly because growing up I didn't have anything. I don't want my kids to get made fun of in Walmart clothes, so I break the bank on Hollister and Abercrombie, you know the drill. And it only gets more expensive the older they get!! One of these days I'll make the money I need to make to support their lifestyle, lol.
yep. exactly.
It's not pretty but the reality, in this particular part of society, is that kids are at a great disadvantage if they appear to be different.
Oh thank goodness! Here I thought I was the only one, lol.
Seriously though, its not always that way with single parents. My mother did exactly as you. I was the one others envied in the family (some friends too). She did exactly what you did and went out of her way to make sure I had everything! She was making up for an awful childhood of her own.
Unfortunately, it led me to be very materialistic and with an entirely twisted idea of the income of the average single parent, lol. Which I must say was very disconcerting when navigating my own journeys into single-parenthood.
It takes time. You just have to step back and decide if you want to cultivate an environment of satisfaction through gratification, or if you want to teach them to feel good through less expensive means.
Deep sigh, now to follow my own advise...lol.
Thanks skyclad,
yes overcompensating, as it seems your mother did, is exactly my concern.
I don't want her to cultivate a sense of entitlement; yet, I don't want her to be ashamed of her circumstances.
ugh. It's hard.
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