Friday, April 3, 2009

the inevitable dilema

When I chose to have my daughter on my own, I knew this day would come but between that time and now, I had forgotten.

It's here.

My friends are having second children.

I just found out yesterday that my last remaining 'single child' mommy friend is now pregnant.

I don't like to admit it but this made me sad...for a number of reasons:

1) Being an only child myself, I always thought that if I ever had one child, I would have another. There were many great things about being an only child, but nothing trumped having a sibling, in my eyes. Now, my daughter is an only child.

2) I'm selfishly and, perhaps, childishly, concerned that now i won't be part of the group. Having a group of mommy friends was/is so vital for me. I think it is for many women but I feel it may be more important to me because being single, I don't share with anyone else. Although I haven't known these women long, they are like family to me and C. They say it won't change things but, I think it will.
"We'll still be close" is what I told my other friends; the ones I hardly see anymore because they don't have children.

My friends are blessed and I'm looking forward to the new arrivals. I must also admit a little part of me would be terrified to do that first year again! Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Truly. terrible.... ( for me ) and that's another blog post.
would love to, sometime, hear thoughts from any one else out there...


bad mummy said...

This situation kills my heart dead. It would seem that 2nd children must be produced when 1st child is between 2 and 3 yrs old. All of The Mook's daycare buddies have siblings about 2-3 years older/younger. It is only my single mum friends that have only children.

I grew up with an older brother and would love for The Mook to have a sibling, but I don't see it happening unless I adopt as a single parent. Which terrifies me.

But, at least The Mook has her pretend older brother, Max, another only child of a single mum. And I can always hope that some perfect partner with a kid (he's widowed, of course, so there's less step-mama drama) will come along. I know, I know. I'm dreaming.

centralillinoisian said...

I am also a single mama of an only. He is now nine and I am 32. I don't plan on any more kids. My friends all have multiple children as well. We still get together. The kids all still play well together. So far in my circumstances it has not changed anything. I had hoped that one day my son would not be an only, but have come to terms with the fact that he will.

Erin said...

central illinois... you still have time! 32.. I have a friend who just had a second baby and her first is 7 so... ya. I guess we shouldn't completely rule it out huh..

bad mummy: I'm so excited that you read my blog. I don't feel so alone now! gee thanks.